How satisfying it is to have him...

I don't know, it's like he always makes me feel special for him… that I could have him anytime and anywhere I need him, and still he doesn’t get tired of me. We could stay for hours being together whether just the two of us, while smoking, or with friends... he's really a package!

Whenever we are together, it's as if he is for me alone, and I am the only one that could consume him, cherish him. It’s like I own him, and that he was really meant for me... he's always there accompanying me in my every taste of life, helping me to realize the bitter, sweet, and even the sour taste of life. Perfect catch i guess, perhaps others would want to have a taste of him, I let them, but I know he’s loyal to me, and we both know he was really made for me.

He keeps me sane you know; keeps my mind off things, or help me to let it all out, he really helps me to get by, he’s the perfect absorbing man and the chillax buddy at the same time…. Yeah, I guess he’s really perfect for me…. I think I love him, and obviously, he loves me so much as well that he’ll never stop loving me and letting me have a taste of him…


As long as I won’t ran out of money to have him…


The Expensive Coffee,


a guilty pleasure,


my escape,


my substitution…





To gabby... ayan na sagot ko...

Merry Christmas!

22
Whined about you...
Whined some more...
Coffee with the puke people..
thought of you...
Met with my bro
Forgot about you
Crashed a party
Crashed another party... a furball party at some artzy bar in cubao na may sinehan sa taas...
Saw a lot of people: musicians, film-makers, tado, ramon bautista who smiled at me, hehehe.
Slept over at my kuya's place

23
Read gaiman, slept, read gaiman, dreamed, read gaiman
First time to trinoma
Recipes
coffee
Slept
Went home

24
Bum
Watched Himala for the first time
Bum
Thought of you for a sec
Food Binging
Noche Buena

gift na LAPTOP!
Wohoo...

Yeah!

25
Just done chatting with direk Marcso on his play about love and gender

Yawn!

Sana makapag-kape mamaya...

Haay...

Still unsure of things, haven't done a lot of things, still stuck on some things... oh well...

burp...

As I hold this 3rd bottle of redhorse slurpy....

cheers!

Happy Holidays Everyone!

After a long and dreamless sleep...

Inspired by the songs of Skunk Anansie, a clit-rock band...

I woke up...

Feed with the pain.... consume it entirely... at least as much as i can...

Just a few more... and it would be over... at least I'll try to...

I'm in the lack of it... so instead of filling that certain thing, I'll just remove that thing entirely...

no more time to waste...


No, Be quiet!


at least... I'll fucking try...



The year will end,
still it's not over...
I'll try too...


I've heard and seen enough...

Listen to Skunk Anansie... you'll hear me out...

Try and listen to me... you'll see...


It's going to be over now...


Help me to sleep again without you...

Blurry talks on jars

Ang mapaloob sa Bell jar ni Esther ay depressing...

di ko masasabing master ko ang kahulugan ng jar na iyon base sa libro, pero ang alam ko, living inside that jar would give you a sight of the world in a distorted and blurred way, since you are looking through a certain glass thingy nga diba? Pero bakit kaya naging ganun nalang ang pagtingin ni Esther sa mundo, is it because she has become a victim of circumstances, or of herself, leche i don't know!

Ayan naalala ko nanaman si Esther, ang likha ng suicidal writer na si Sylvia Plath. Salamat at nakita ko nanaman siya sa bookshelf, timing talaga at pinaalala nanaman niya kung gaano kalabo ang mundo o maaring kung gaano pinapalabo ng tao ang mundo kahit hindi naman...


Haay...


Masaya ang buhay, masaya...

Am i a victim of circumstances? Di ko naman kasalanan na mapalibutan ng mga bagay na either wala ako, o hindi ko kailanman makukuha ha, biktima nga lang talaga... or maybe what's happening to me is normal lang, and it's just that I'm so involved with myself na binibiktima ko lang ang sarili ko? Baka nga, lecheng mundo ito!


But wait... no! the world is not that chaka, it's just me... maganda at masaya naman ang mundo, maligaya ang mga tao, in fact they are all perky with matching shouts to the world about how their life turned out well amidst all the shitty things that happened before... wohoo! Happy joy joy ang katauhan... grr!

well except sa mga ilan na naiwan paring naka-kulong sa mga bell jar nila...

Haay, Merong naging masaya nanaman at napasama sa mga bakasyunista sa labas ng bell jar, habang kami ay nandito parin, napag-iwanan nanaman...

Puke... sori for being selfish, shit ako...

Damn...

konte nalang ata... mukhang makokontento na akong mag-isa sa buhay ah,

Konte nalang at Mawawala na ang pait at pag-aasim, at wala ng matitira kundi kamanhiran, hanggang apathy nalang...

Ilang tao pa na aalis sa tabi ko, mukhang kakayanin ko na...

Ilan pang mga pag-asa at inspirasyon na lilihis ng landas... tiyak matatauhan na ko...

Masaya ang buhay, masaya...


Ang puno't dulo ng lahat?

"There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the extra person in the room." Sylvia Plath, Bell Jar

Demoralized na ata ako... tuliro kaya? nasa bell jar nga lang talaga siguro...


May makakabasag pa kaya nitong jar na ito? O kahit ilabas lang ako sandali para sa isang bakasyon? O dito nalang ako forever, pagmamasdan ang ibang tao labas-pasok sa mga jars nila, habang ako stuck lang sa bell jar na ito, hanggang sa masuffocate na ko at mawalan ng hininga... nang nag-iisa...


Weird, I'm not mad or angry anymore,

I'm just sad and tired...


Masaya ang buhay, masaya...