Para sa mga nawawalan ng pag-asa...

Marami akong pangarap... marami akong gustong gawin... alam kong hindi ko lahat matutupad yun, at lalong hindi ko lahat mailalagay ang mga gusto ko sa isang oportunidad lamang, I could only do so much...

with the people I'm working with na kaiba ko ng pag-iisip, at kaiba rin ng pag-tingin sa bagay na pareho naming pinanghahawakan...

sa tool na binigay sakin para punuan ng aking mga ideya na hindi naman lahat ay magkakasya dun nor babagay dun...

At sa mga taong hindi ako maintindihan, at hindi ko maintindihan...

Ang kaya ko lang gawin ay mag-compromise, sumabay sa agos, ibigay lang ang kaya ko, at ibahagi ang mga kaalaman ko na pwede rin mag-work for them...

kailangan lang namin mag-meet half-way

hindi siguro lahat ng gusto kong gawin ,magagawa ko dito, pero di naman ibig sabihin nun ay di ko na napatunayan ang sarili ko, ginawa ko lang ang tama... ang trabahuhin ang binigay saking oportunidad, at mag-tulungan kasama ang iba ko pang kasama dito, magkompormiso kung kailangan, at magpatuloy lang basta't wala akong inaapakan at walang umaapak sakin...

isa kaming organisasyon, ang pangarap ko'y hindi para sakin lamang... ito'y para sa kabubuti dapat ng lahat...

While they were sleeping...

It's 3am and I'm still up...

I guess I haven't managed to trigger myself to somnolence yet, though it's weird because I desperately need a rest from all the things that I'm doing right now.

It was 10pm last night. After a day at the university, I went straight ahead to tapets, and have a rehearsal for a workshop showcase.

I was sitting in a corner of the rehearsal area, waiting for my scene to be blocked. I was sitting in the corner, turning the pages of my AA SM folder, but not really browsing it, while simultaneously having a texting chat with my PM and SM for a play that I'll be directing.

Damn, and there is still so much to do!

Hay, Kakapagod... to think na nag-sisimula palang...

But I don't know, I just can't stop, these are the things that I wanna do, or I have to do to get what I want to do, or something that would help me to be what I wanna be, and it’s just that most of the things that I want right now falls to theater. It's tiring, but I'm learning in every step of the way.

The feeling? Parang masarap na exhausting na pagod, di ko lam, it feels so weird.

Umpisa pa nga lang ito eh...



After Tapets last night (Pero 3 hours ago lang yun), I went to strbx with some of my peta friends and direk mark zufelt (Ibang klase na ang pag-papaalipin ko sa kano ngayon, hehe). Zufelt was talking a lot while most of us have our noses bleeding; he talked about acting theories, films, and a lot lot more that I have a learned a lot from. Then he asked a question that might be helpful to end this post...

"So ten years from now, how do you see yourself in theater?"

I've known myself for not planning ahead that much (Phlegmatic!), so I answered like what my mom always says,

"I'll cross the bridge when I get there!"

But I should have said what I have just thought right now, I forgot to say,

"I really don't know... but it's a part of me right now, and I don't have any plans of quitting yet. As of the moment, I'm working, learning, and having fun with theater... and I guess that's all what matters for now!"

I’m maybe tired but I’m still not tired of theater... naka naman!
Try ko na matulog...