OH THE HUMANITY: Selfish jerks

Alright, so I fucking like her ok?

There I said it... Are you happy now?

Yeah, I'm sick and tired of keeping this clogged up in me for a while now... and damn you are lucky because you were the first one to know this fucking thing... and I'm telling you, hiding it was not easy, yet I'm kinda proud of it coz it was like the longest time I kept something in me, but now I'm saying it to you, not because you are like the closest friend that I have, or all that qualities sissies say, but it's because my mouth just can't take it anymore, she just needs to blab it out, now!

Anyway, it's not about me, it's her. I mean why did she choose him over me? I mean I think we connect; we share a lot of ideas, especially the radical ones, hehehe... now that's what I like about her the most man, the way she talks so ideal and weird, the way she bugs me but at the same time amuses me, damn I'm so falling for her... but why the fuck did she choose him? That pretty boy piece of shit, so sweet, so caring, so nonsense, and so... well fuck him! I mean, are those things what the chicks really want these days, I mean I could be like that, it's just not my obvious personality as of the moment but I am capable of showing it... and besides, that guy's image won't last long, it will soon fade, and nothing will be left... unlike when she goes to me, we can still have best conversations when the mushy stuffs are finally turned off... well I can't really say that... I don't know anything about that relationship stuff... hey you shut up!

Are all girls like that? Just looking for the typical boys around there and avoiding guys like me who really make sense? Oh yeah, I forgot... It's because I'm ugly... yeah how can I forget? Just a guy who can be fun talking to, just a friend, but will never be like him, a hunk with the biggest... Damn, I just know I have something more to give than him. Well too bad, she loves him and not me...

Why do I need love anyway, I mean why do I need her? I already have her as a friend, why can't I be contented with that? We are fun being friends, why can't I just leave it like that?

I just remembered what my boy bud said when I asked him why he's falling in-love with his best friend and wants to be more than just friends, he said, "I mean, we're good as best friends and all, but something is missing, like there should be more, I dunno...intimacy?" Now Intimacy, yeah, that's one of the main reasons why people engage in romantic relationships right? They are so in love with intimacy and all that body warmth. Why do we need intimacy anyway? Can't we be contented with our friends, talking stuff, hanging out with them, having fun...? I mean we can also hug them and all if we want intimacy; we can also kiss them if we want to... but I guess the kissing part will just wait, but the girls are into it. What I really mean is we can do things to our friends that we also do to our girlfriends, and at least in being friends, relationship spans are less risky. So what's the fucking reason why we want "lovey" relationships then, why do I and other people as well are so into this "lovey" relationship crap?

Hmmm... now that's it! It all boils down to the fucking sense of ownership shit... yeah, the selfishness that man innately has! We want "lovey" relationships with someone because in that relationship, there's exclusivity, there is possession for one another, you can fucking have her for yourself. Of course being friends is not enough, because that would mean sharing with the others, unlike when you finally become girlfriends and boyfriends, the possession will be one level up higher, your exclusive for one another, you are tied, you can fuck each other for all we care. Yeah, Fuck you selfish, insecure motherfuckers! Oh yeah, I forgot I'm one of them.

So now what?

Well, after saying all those nasty things, I have to ask myself, "Have I put something into light?" and then I'll answer, "Shit no!" In conclusion, clearing up things a little didn't do any help in the scenario... I'm still into her, she's still into him, he's still has the biggest… well let's just leave it like that... and we humans are possessive jerks all this time ... so that leaves me to... me, being alone, talking to myself, acting as if I'm a guy (As if guys think this way, hehe), and almost done writing the fuckiest bitter frustrating love rant a fat girl can write.

END