Hai-hai and Mei-mei

*Takes off a part of the mask*

She gasps for breath, her heart is beating hard, she can't take it anymore, and she has to do this or unless she'll explode...

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The banging stops.

My Mei-Mei

She never cared at all, or maybe she's trying to act like one, but I never really noticed her giving some effort to connect, except for some circumstances where I could see in her eyes something different, or when she accidentally spurt out little words or actions that show either a sneaky gesture of care or a hint of her vulnerability. Those accidental moments, she always thinks of it as mistakes and were never like her, but we both know that those were parts of her, pieces of her that hides beneath her limbs, her heart.

Something happened and I never knew what it was, or maybe I just don't want to tell you, but I know that she wants to do something as a response to that occurrence, perhaps letting something out.

The Act

She knows she has to do this or else the feeling will forever clog up inside her. But if she has to do it, She has do it in some place, a place where she will be alone, no eyes on her, no screaming silence, no people like me and you, just a place where she could take off a part of her mask.

So she goes inside an empty white room, no other colors, no anything. She gets a black crayon that she hid in her tangled tresses a while ago, and starts to write something on the wall...

Then someone knocks on the door,

she stops writing.

The knock is loud, hard, and continuous, she gets confused whether to continue writing or not. The knock becomes louder; it's starting to be a bang and not a knock. Mei-mei starts sweating, the feeling is starting to clog up inside her again, she begins to gasp for breath, her heart starts to beat hard, she can't take it anymore...

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The knocking stops.

While panting, She starts to write again on the wall.

DOT...DOT...DOT...

Minutes later, she's done writing. She puts the chunk of crayon back in her tangled tresses again, then she sits on one corner, and started crying. After a while, she wipes her face with her shirt and then she inhales for air, the inhale was so deep that when she exhales, a smile of relief is seen in her eyes. She goes to the door, holds the door knob, looks back on the writings on the wall for the last time, then leaves the room.

"So how was the room?"

"Very rejuvenating"

"Hehehehe!"

"I should do this again sometime"

"I guess we all deserve to do this kind of thing once in a while..."

"Too bad it's forbidden"

"I guess it's ok to rebel sometimes, don't you think?"

"Yeah..."

"So what happened?"

"I guess I don't need to tell you anymore…"

"Gaga, o sige, tara na nga."

"Ok..."

We may never know what the writings were, but I guess it doesn't matter at all. No matter how selfish, emotional, or shallow the writings may be, it's Mei-mei's way of expressing the real her even for just a short while. I guess we all need this kind of thing, you know, expressing oursleves once in a while, but sadly it has to be done alone, away from the ways of the world where we live, far form the beings we're living with, out from the usual air we breathe in, and distant from the sea where we float like a cannonball.

*And the mask on the face was whole again*

...